It has been 8 months, and I still in adaptation process at my working place. I still remember for the first six months joining this profession, every morning i feel nervous to handle cases until i finished work and passed over case to other people.

Then one month after, I started to feel eager to start duty, smiling all the way through hardships. And the very next months until now, I started to feel fed up & burned out sometimes. Haha.

So as much the stress i endured, i spent the very same amount out to relieve it. And anyway this funny thing happened last night. Beware when u order things online as this what i learnt, pls check your balance first. I forgot i left some cash at my working place, and some more did not even check it until the service knocking your very front door. Haha gotcha!

Nasib baik cukup cover dengan duit tabung. Menggigil the delivery boy kena kira duit syiling depan pintu rumah. Kah3

Love and heartache

It saddened me in this early morning to suddenly realize that my parents are getting old without me spending much time with them.

In my eyes they were always young, without much grey hairs growing, and without the kedut2 on their skin. Forgive me Allah for unable to fulfill my filial duty towards them. I was too driven by the feelings that i'm not so cherished by them as compared to others of my siblings.

That's how i always felt truthfully until today. I'm doubtful. Keeping distance away hoping they someday might realise, or at least will miss me. This heartache can never be washed away by oceans of tears, will never diminished within ages.

Love and... should i say hate, or if not, disappointed is tightly twisting that it seems unseparatable.

But still, they are my parents.

Hey, even if i might seem as ungrateful daughter for all this time around, yet i love them very much to put them as my priority after Allah s.w.t & Muhammad s.a.w, to mention them in each & every prayer i made all along.

With passing times, I'm getting scared. Scared if one day i'd never have a chance to spend my time, to show my love towards them ever again.

Should have cherish this limited, given time with them to the fullest. No need to wait until we loss them to realize how meaningful they are. Don't let the ego & stupidity make you pay for a lifetime.

Mom, dad... i swear i love you two.