Funny recipe.

No, let's just call it a crazy recipe.

The other day I had no appetite thus prepared the asam laksa instant mee. Then I couldn't finish it so I mixed it with the anchovy sauce & lime juice (let's just call it sos bilis or budu).

And it turned out delicious. haha.

Really, this is crazy :p

Lone traveler in quest looking for her God

3am and i woke up. Tried to get back to sleep aiming to get up later around 5 but just can't. Maybe had overslept during the day since I just finished my night duty the previous day. Anyway I took it as a hidayah, my soul's been called.

I admitted that I've done a lot of wrong things. I've changed drastically for good but then with regret I turned back after started working. It felt like I've been stumbled into the pit & unable to get out of it. Stuck inside until the hell comes later.

Tahajud that once I practiced, now I hardly remember when was the last time I did. Prayer that I had never left, now wavering. Covering aurah? Slowly I took it for granted. Joining kuliyyah or usrah, let's just not mention it.

The point is I've failed.

Each time I tried to change back being better, I kept stepping back repeating the mistakes. Mukmeen won't fall twice into the same pit, but I did. I did, and I'm not happy with it yet not strong enough to fight the lust.

Oh I never blame being working turning me into this, but I'm blaming me. I had always wishing to die just to stop continuing all these maksiyah if that's the only way to.

But now I'm trying to recollect all the pieces, at least I could prove I did trying after all.

Mohon doanya ya.

The hell's fire is inevitable (unless with Allah's will) but I still wishing for jannah.

#ilaika

Susahnya nak kahwin.

Macam2 kelengkapan nak kena prepare. Duit lagi. Kos pelamin, nak cari baju, upah jurugambar, nak gi mekap bagai.

Allah.

I don't think I can do this. I hate commitment. I hate the fact I needed to spend time, caring for other people. Nak jaga hati semua orang. I dont like wasting money wasting time, efforts etc. This is stupid.

Anyway, my time is a long way to come I guess. Bcuz for now, the only one person I ever like is going to get married soon in several months. Barakallah to you, pls dont bother to invite me (:

Remembered years back, somebody commented me being a nurse is no longer innocent. Back then I was furious.

Strangely nowadays I accepted it. True enough I'm doing things I didn't want but don't have other options (unless if I were to quit!). For people who somehow not related.

Nurse is not a robot. Not an angel.

Tired.

kena saman beb!

Bismillah.

The other day, I went all the way from Sunway to Rawang where my eldest brother was staying just to practice driving. He supposed to be my co-driver later on that day. Alhamdulillah well eventhough I was tricked a bit at the highway but then I arrived there exactly in front of my brother's house (just locating it using google navigation!) safe & sound.

Then we go makan- makan at TESCO. Then he took over, drove to AEON. Lastly we planned to look for car accessories at Maluri so I let him drive since I'm not familliar with the road. End up he sending me back to Sunway. Haha.

Actually the previous day an incident happened. I was going for cycling with my colleague but things happened that we didnt go.

So later in the afternoon, I went for lunch with my studymate whom I havent met for 2years after the graduation day in December 2012. It was raining heavily, the road started to flood. Some jackass cut my may tried to get into line & small collision happened. His car just scratched, but mine in the other way, the bumper was slightly out. Some more it's a rental car. Sigh.

Let bygone be bygone, anyway I was fined RM300, get called to IBP Petaling Jaya. Luckily eventhough I still had to lodge a report & pay the fines, at least the policemen were polite enough & cheerful. They cracked jokes that I never thought I had even laughing while giving statement.

But I haven't settled the fine yet, sometimes there'll be discount so just wait first. :D

"Awak memang kerja kat sini ke?" soalan dia bila jumpa saya kat hospital. pelik. What kind of question is this? Saya pun pakai uniform lagi.

Anyway mesti dia pun rasa pelik dgn 1st soalan bila sy suddenly call dia the day before. "Awak kat mana eh?"

Haha. Soalan orang yg blur lepas eksiden. Sampai dia ulang balik soalan tu tapi tak dapat nak bagi jawapan.