Almost a heart attack.

I was working on morning shift that day, expecting a new case to arrive anytime soon.

While waiting, I went around the unit to help fellow night duty nurses to complete their tasks so they could go back earlier. There must be havoc last night, doing CPR all that, and one patient did not survive. Gone for good.

So I helped to remove the curtain for the bed. Stood on the chair, just focusing on what I was doing. In the middle of it I glanced to my empty bed, and happened to lock gaze with somebody who was sitting there at my working table, watching me. That gave me a big surprised, seriously. Siap bertongkat dagu pulak tu. Not sure whether it showed on my face, but thank God my hand reflex was even faster, covering my face enough with the curtain and able to pretend that there was nothing.

I was so surprised since I did not expect things like this would happened. If not, under normal condition I would just cooly angkat kening though. Felt as if my heart slipped down to the gut at the very instance. Fuh.. But luckily i was so busy after that so I totally forgot about it or else I'd feel awkward throughout the shift.

Almost give me a heart attack. Hmph.

Private VS Govt hospital

I noticed a few different things in between of private and govt hospital. One of the things that i love most in govt hospital is the excellent teamworks between doctors and nurses. Even those doktor pakar or specialists also very humble and close with staffs. Surely not all, but those who kerek- kerek one will always there,  doesn't matter among doctors or nurses. It is just a common individual attitude problem.

Nak dijadikan cerita, adalah satu hari ni, di awal- awal minggu berkhidmat di ICU untuk praktikal sem 1 post basic, which is sangat amatlah busy. Polytrauma case, ada 3 team co-manage this patient. Kita ni baruuu je first suap nasi kerabu then teammates panggil. "Dik, Ortho team datang," katanya.

I went to my patient's bed. This Surgical specialist, with one MO and one HO were there. Yang paling hensem tersenyum berdiri tepi katil, cewah gitu. "Nak buat wound inspection," katanya. Rileks je tunggu den sampai. Rupa2nya dialah doktor pakar. The specialist is friendly, he wanted to inspect patient's surgical wound himself so he asked me to bolus sedation to patient. I did, but the dose wasnt enough as patient still grimacing eventhough not opening eyes.

"Not enough. Pain score 10/10" dan entah apalagi dia sebut while smiling to me since I stood in front, assisting him. Or the correct word is tukang tengok, sebab MO dia yg tolong pegang kaki pesakit tu. Haha. Mengelat secara tidak sengaja. Tapi dia sabar je tunggu sampai pesakit betul2 sedated. Dah siap round dia, ala iolls kan polite, budak baru katekan. "Thank you Dr." Dia pun dengan muka comel, mata sepetsepet gitu jawab "Your welcome," dengan happynya macam budak dapat gula- gula.

Abis je Ortho team punye round, datang Surgical team pulak. Ala nasi kerabu i... sayonara T-T

So this Surgical specialist per say, also very humble and cheerful. Not even the juniors in team were that humble, but he was so talkative and carefree. It was a new place for me, I'm not familliar with any procedure and I don't usually that easy to build rapport with others too. They made their round and I just spoke wherever necessaries. I stood at the bedside while he examining patient and then joined the team again as they still needed my input.

Then this specialist ordered me to remove the drainage tube, and asked whether I know how to. Then he repeated it again. I answered him already but he seems to ignore me. He repeated it for the 3rd time and looking around, searching for me at the bedside when I was exactly standing NEXT to him for ages.

"Eh, mane adik ni?" dia cari lagi di sebalik tirai tepi katil pesakit.

" Dr, saya kat siniii!" pastu saya gelakkan dia. Wakaka. Dia tak perasan sebab my uniform is a lil' bit different from other nurses. My lecturer was around supervising me that time and she happened to see the incident. Lol, kantoi.

So gentleman of him, lepas gelak sama2, siap offered nak tolong remove drain tu. "You tahu nak buat macamana? Just STO lepastu remove je. Kalau tak sure I can do for you," katanya. Wah2. Banyak masa lapang dia ^^ Respect guwa kat doktor pakar yg humble camni. Lau kat private nak cari yang macamni pergh.. 1 in 100. Ramainya yang mintak junjung cam firaun adelah. Ops.

Mr Specialist: Awak asal dari mana?

Me: Eh? Asal? *blur takleh nak jawab*

Mr Specialist: Dari mana sebelum ni?

Me: Oh. Saya student ICN KSKB, dari hospital XX (sebab tadi dah siap mention firaun so kena censor sikitlah name hospital haha).

Mr Specialist: KL? Oh hebat2

Dia nak sambung ape tah lagi tapi terbantut bila member panggil sambung balik discussion :D

Few hours after that he came again, this time alone. They planned to send patient for CT scan so I informed him that we unable to take consent yet since I unable to reach the family members.

"Tapi form dah ade," saya bagi kat dia.

"Takpe, saya yang bagi consent." Jawabnya sambil tersengih- sengih.

Tap! Dia cop borang consent. Dia pandang, lepas tu tap tap. Dia cop semua sekali kat borang tu, grinning mischieviously while looking at me. "Macamni boleh?" katanya mengusik. La hai..

Me: Radiology dept dah tahu ke Dr, nak buat CT ni?

Mr Specialist: Kita sedang memberitahukan mereka (sengih)

Setiap jawapan dia rasa cam menusuk kalbu je tahap kesinisannya tapi tengok muka tersengih2. Kompius dia buat lawak ke tengah perli iolls T-T but his jokes made up my day.

Pastu the 3rd team, Medical team sampai. Siap nak pasang chest tube pulak. Bizi sampai ke habis syif iolls. Huhu. Yang ni specialist perempuan dia tegas, tapi ok lah. MO perempuan pun nice and friendly, I told her I'm not familliar with procedures here so she helped me through.

Kesimpulannya most of doctors kat sini sangat humble, polite and friendly. Nice environment to work. Dan bila dapat pulak teammates yang bole teamwork, the shift will go very smooth.

I'm looking forward to work and learn as much as I can here (: walaupun ended up nasi kerabu breakfast tu dimakan pukul 5ptg kemudiannya. Breakfast ok, kul 5 petang. Kau ade?? Kbai.

Unsettled

Allahu.

I hate this feeling, when you get out of work but you still feel unsettled. You afraid that you may have unfinished business or worse, maybe there any errors you did and the fear of whatever consequences you will face tomorrow. Sigh.

I know it's common when we have to adapt the new environment, dealing with the new processes and procedures. But this is on extreme side, so stressful.

Anyway amusing things did happened somehow. My Chinese nephrology MO this morning, per say. I went to check the blood result but forgot to trace the important serum urea and creatinine. So he was like,

"Where is urea and creat? Astaghfirullah.."

I was like err.. and went back to trace them. Came back, he still there patiently waiting at the desk. Haha.

And i asked the medical one to help me set extra peripheral branula since i needed to transfuse blood urgently. He answered,

'Taknak~'

I asked him the same before, if he wanted to review the arterial blood gasses result that he ordered previously, the same he said. 'Taknak'

Memang gaya mintak siku. *imagine super saiya's fire flaring up*