Thousand times a day

Thousand times.

Thousand times a day I wavered.
Thousand times a day I brokenhearted.
Thousand times a day I wanted give up.
Thousand times a day I swore that I had things enough that I would want to stop, run and never look back.

I had it enough, seeing the cruel side of life and death. Those grievances. Those hatred. Oh.. couldn't you see I'm broken inside?

But still, for each & every life I've seen, I still wanted to help them keep it. Trying to revive it the best I could. It was so much stressful but none would understand, not even the family let alone the society. You curse the doctors, the nurses when you don't even know what kind of day they had. Let alone to be grateful for whatever effort they did.

This one pair hands of mine, I pledge to dedicate for our people several years back. That's one of the reason I'm still here despite having countless infinite desire to give up every second.

After a bad day, with the tears brimming, thankfully I have those considerate teammates. Encouraging words & warm hugs they gave help to sooth my lacks of motivation. Really appreciate it.

#feels like tonight - daughtry.