Kill me heal me.

Just celebrated my 27th birthday last week. I originally wished to have a quiet, insignificant day on my birthday this year and the years to come. However my housemates noticed and they arranged one surprise celebration conspirated with my roommate. I'm just gladful and thankful as it is. If I recall back, I could hardly remember when did I ever celebrate birthday with my family, seem as if none. No use to mention birthday gift. Only friends would celebrate my birthday and showered me with their blessings and gift. Now that I mentioned it, I suddenly feel unwanted haha.

When I tried my best to support, to care, to love my family but in the end I'm the one hurting and feels significant.I had to be far away and care for family members of others due to my career demand. Nevermind.

Anyway, my parents and family may see me as the easiest to handle and maybe the most independent member. But in reality they did not know how I desperately need their support. They did not even know how many times I've been down. And they will never know that up to this day, I am so depressed that I had long giving up on continue to live.

Wishing every night would be the last night, and every sleep is forever long.