The worst July in my life.

So today I had case study presentation, and what happened was both my written & presentation were rejected due to selfish miscommunication between the lecturers. And the victim is no one other than student like us. What a stupid idiot management. I was supervised under a tutor but presented case to another, and this is the consequence. Not only me, but another 2 students also. As we are needed to find a new case and redo all from A to Z, it is confirmed that the marks that will be given is not going to be more than half from actual one which was 20%. What made me mad is that I felt this so unfair. So much unfair I couldn't let it slide just like that.

Earlier this month, father just got discharged out from hospital after been hospitalized for 22 days. It was just 2 days before raya. I couldn't tell anyone of how much I disappointed that I couldn't be home while studying here in JB and couldn't go back. I'm on practical session in hospital which I couldn't leave just whenever I wanted. And then this Aidilfitri which was the worse and unmeaningful I ever had, so much it broke my heart that I choose not to say anything about it. The only best thing about this raya was that I able to go to my besty's house, after promised her each year since few years ago.

After that the accident on 13th of July, like in the previous entry.

Then here comes today, 18th of July, where I've been unjustly failed by the inconsiderate lecturer. It is just a small thing to redo this assignment, but because of all the misfortune things that happened after one another within this very short moments, I felt frustrated. Brokenhearted. Tired & devastated beyond words. I cried hard & loud all the way back (driving, even passed the accident place), until now. Luckily my roommate is not around.

These are the hardest moments to me. I never cried this hard after the last one during college time about 5-6 years ago. But from this moments around, I could differentiate who's the real friend in need. These few friends offered me hands even when I didn't asked to. 4 of them offered to lend me some money through my difficulties, including 2 of my chinese friends. How nice of them. But I politely refused, as I'm not comfortable about borrowing, not even with my family. And my roommate, she even accompanied me here and there, and also to work in my car (since I insisted to drive that car to police station before straightaway to work) because she worried. One even almost wanted to cook for me to help me relieve from shock.True friends are hard to find, but I think I've found some of the diamonds of life. Sincerely.

It is so hard that I had no one to share. Tak sanggup nak menyusahkan orang untuk dengar kesusahan kita. Penat, bila rasa tak dihargai. Ada macam tiada. Letih & kecewa untuk teruskan effort. Dah habis ruang untuk memaafkan.