Hurt me once, it's forever.

I'm ranting senselessly, sitting on the BRT bench after finishing my night duty. Tired, yes without doubt. However i had these things running in my mind.

On my way back, somebody I barely know, whose name i hardly can remember, standing by the roadside waving from far. Smiling. I smiled faintly, waved him back. I rarely talked to him before I went away for a year, and when I came back, he stopped me to say hi, asking where i was.

At that time I was thinking on how I should have a boyfiend, when I was never ready. I'm not secured with all my flaws & shortcomings. I scared to be hurted again. I acknowledged nobody wants me because I'm not pretty, and I dont even bother to doll up myself in which if after pretty up myself then still nobody wants me, I could stumble to the bottom pit & never ever stand up again. But in the same time I'm terrified that I'll be lured to the wrong path.

It's not that I dont like guys. I even hate (jelous) to see pretty girls which confide me that I'm straight after all. Haha. Duh, joking gais.

I was brokenhearted before, when i staked everything out including my heart. And since that I never believe or like a guy. That's how i stay single until now.